"It only hurts until you die." - That 70s Show
Here's a preview of that contract:
January 3, 2006
Koh Szar Mein Jaime and How Pei Qing
The following sets forth the terms and conditions of the agreement between
Koh Szar Mein Jaime (referred to as "Jaime") and How Pei Qing (referred to as "pQ").
Whereas "Jaime" is a guardian who plans to maximise “pQ’s” full potential
in the aspect of academia.
Whereas "pQ" who by virtue of her prior experience, was a slacker.
The parties agree to the following:
"Jaime" will babysit “pQ” in pursuing a Cumulative Average Point (CAP) of
at least 4.5 for “pQ”.
"Jaime" will be responsible for:
1. Providing an appropriate venue for study and academic pursuits.
2. Supervising and ensuring “pQ” uses her time productively by studying while
in “Jaime’s” company.
3. Encouraging “pQ” to “study” at least 21 hours at week (i.e. 3 hours per day)
where “study” is defined as academic pursuit with the exclusion of attending
lectures, tutorials, project meetings and doing tutorials and other
4. Ensuring “pQ” attends all lectures and tutorials.
"pQ" will be responsible for:
1. Ensuring that all lecture notes are printed and ready for lectures.
2. Completing all tutorials, projects and assignments by the deadlines set by the
3. Printing all readings and to read them consistently.
"Jaime" and "pQ" will be jointly responsible for:
1. Working towards the goal of achieving a CAP of at least 4.5 for “pQ”.
2. Hunting for food to energise and fuel their academic pursuits.
The parties further agree that "Jaime" shall not receive more than 5% of “pQ’s”
The Parties further agree that "Jaime" and "pQ" will refrain from physical abuse
and biting each other’s heads off.
It is further agreed that "pQ" will lead a healthy lifestyle by sleeping enough,
excercising, eating well and indulging in a few leisure activities to further
enhance her academic performance.
In the event of the death of "Jaime" or “pQ”, life goes on, keep studying!
If involuntary resignation occurs by either party, the remaining party is given
the right to physically abuse the resigned party.
The Parties agree that any dispute which may arise regarding their activities as
general partners of academic pursuits will be settled by arbitration.
The parties may mutually agree to modify this agreement at any time.
Koh Szar Mein Jaime How Pei Qing
pQ’s arch enemy Jaime’s worst nightmare