The desire to excel. The passion to dedicate. The determination to see it through.

Friday, June 30, 2006

Work-of-the-Day

Work ended early today! I only worked for 6 hours. While waiting for the detail's preparation time to be over, I fell asleep and even dreamed until Andrew (AWC) woke me up! The air-conditioning was freezing and that didn't help my cold!
After work, I went home to take a nap and then went downtown to collect the Milkrun goodie bags. There were 8 of them so they were quite heavy. Luckily my father drove me there and back!
I went to sleep again and when I woke up for dinner (9.30pm), I felt like I've recovered! Great! I'm going back to sleep now. =)

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Work-of-the-Day

I went to scope people for Top Notch today. One of the best jobs I have ever had! I think I'm falling sick, AGAIN.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Movie-of-the-Day

In the morning, I went over to pQ's home. I rang the doorbell (because she did not answer her phone) and her mum opened the door for me. The next course of action was to wake her up! We watched Over the Hedge again and ate breakfast (flour fritters, cheese cake and honey stars with milk).
Later on, we asked becca to join us and we ate lunch at the Kopitiam. We watched Superman Returns. It was not bad. However, I prefer Spiderman! After that, we had dinner (KFC) and went to the Esplanade roof terrace to chill out while becca entertained us with her guitar and harmonica. Chilling out is shiok!!!
We had supper at The Prata Place (right?).

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Movie-of-the-Day

Becca and I watched Just My Luck and ate at Carl's Jr today! The movie was okay I guess.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Skating-of-the-Day

I went ice skating with Becca for about an hour (that's a record timing!). After that, she came over to my place.
In the evening, we met yq for a movie. We watched She's The Man! It was extremely laughable!!!

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Fishmonger-of-the-Day

I brought Ivan to Cathedral of the Good Shepherd. The choir is fantastic. I am in awe every single time.

After that, SciFCG Comm met up to prepare for CGL (cell group leader) appreciation dinner. It was a steamboat. I had to chop the fish (since no one else had experience with cutting a fish up!) The chopper wa so blunt and fish bits and blood splashed over my tshirt! I forgot to wear an ungly tshirt. I smelt like a fishmonger. I helped to prepare other food too. It's been a while since I used a kitchen.
I had no appetite for dinner! I was amazed at myself. I ate a bit and started stoning. I was caught stoning twice! *Oops* I just sat there and drank infinite cups of cordial and started singing every song playing on the radio. Class 95 was playing the best songs! CGLs were each given an ornamental angel. Anyway, here's a photo of Murray (I named him after the talking skull in the PC game, Monkey Island):
Murray is a reject product (due to the scary mouth). He looks like a character out of The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Gathering-of-the-Day

In the morning I met Ben H. to plan for the Sentosa FOC follow-up next weekend. After that, we had combined CG (cell group) which was about The Da Vinci Code. It ended late and I had to rush off to meet Ivan.
After lunch, we went to Marina South to fly a kite. The moment we bought the kite and stepped out, it started to drizzle. We then went to the arcade to play. After that, we sat at some coffeeshop and then attempted to fly the kite.
I had AJ class gathering and I invited Ivan to come along with me. We had steamboat at Marina and naturally all my classmates thought we were an item.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Movie-of-the-Day

After slacking some of the morning away, Toh and I went downtown and watched Silent Hill. It was a boring movie. pQ met us for lunch before that.
In the evening, I got to meet yq and Ivan for dinner. After dinner, Ivan and I just wandered around town and took bus home.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Events-of-the-Day

In the morning, I went to tan at the beach. The sea was blue (unlike in Singapore). I left for Singapore and met Ms Toh for dinner at Thomson Plaza. After that, we went to her place and slacked till the next day.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

He - Part 4

He awoke to the glimmering sun rays in his eyes. Yet another bright and sunny day. He jumped off the bed immediately. This day was different. This was one the days he wanted to start. It was a day of embarkent. The start of a period of days of unfounded gladness. Things were going to take a turn, at least for a while.

Today, he walked with a bounce and a smile to complement it. He was ready to impact the world in the only way he knew possible. Love. Every form of communication he had with others, he tried to find the right words to put a smile across their faces. He kept thinking about what he could do for them. Suddenly giving felt good again. He vaguely remembered a time when he gave till it hurt. But this time, he would give his all. No harm to be done. He needed no one to reciprocate. In fact, he prefered it that way. He did small things for them. Things that people often take for granted. In this way, others would not know what he had done and would not feel indebted to him.

Days of gladness passed by him. He took it all in, savouring each moment. Never walking too fast so that he wouldn't miss anything. He was satisfied in many aspects but he felt inadequate. Inadequate not by the standards of man. He would work towards that. He was glad that he had found purpose in life. Money was not it. Security was not it. Being loved in return was not it. It was agape, God's love.

That was something he could not quantify. Something he could not comprehend. Something that left him in awe.

Trip-of-the-Day

I went to Bintan for a short trip. We did snorkeling and ate at the Kelong for dinner!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Just 4 Candice!

Hello Candice!!!

Thanks for reading my blog!!! Hehe.
BYEBYE!!!

Cheers,
Jaime

He - Part 3

He was lost. He could not find his emotions. Thoughts swirled through his mind in no chronological order. This was not him. He usually had a regular, logical, trend of thought. Events which used to upset him flashed in his thoughts. He slowed them down, savouring and remembering how he used to feel about these events. He could not find his emotions. All he felt was stillness and calm, no matter how traumatizing the event had been. He was detached.

He had been away from emotion for a while. Busying himself with task after task. Creating more and more tasks to keep him busy. To keep him away from feeling. But deep down inside, was a sense of melancholy. He knew this so he worked harder. Working till the wee hours in the morning so that he would be knocked out the minute he went to bed. No room for thought or fantasy.

As far as he could, he stopped making acquaintances. He was too tired of setting up a facade for the sake of not being alone. Being alone was fine as long as he was not lonely. Most of the people he spent his time with could not diminish the loneliness he felt. He could've been surrounded by a band of people who thought they knew him but he'd rather be wandering alone.In his daily embarkment, he realised that he yearned for something. He wanted to be understood, to be known. People did not see him as he truly was. Few have come to witness his 4th dimension. He had no opportunity to express it as no one had given him the chance to.

Perhaps the impression he had created allowed everyone to assume that he never had a 4th dimension. The only thought that kept recurring in his mind was that no one would ever know him.He would continue to feel as alone as ever. "Solitude is good.. Solitude is good.." His solemnly chanted it in the Hope that one day he would grow to believe it. Yet, he didn't want to believe it. His flickering Hope was that someday, circumstances would be rearranged.

Through it all, Hope will sustain him. Hope & God.

Mugging-of-the-Day

Ms Toh Si Nee and I went King Albert Park (KAP) to study today! She studied her music stuff while I completed Chapter 5 of Felder & Rousseau!
After that, we went to Coronation for dinner (Chicken Chop) and headed to Seletar Reservoir.
Becca: Remember to ask pQ to watch a play!!!

Monday, June 19, 2006

Confused - Part 2

Unfortunate times.. Unfortunate events.. Is it all justified? Working out why this and that happens.. Justifying that it’s always for the better.. Justification by thinking of ways that if the event was fortunate… it was disguised.. it would turn out to be unfortunate.. Justifying that everything that befalls on you is for the better.. Justifying that something better will come my way…

He - Part 2

He was lost. He could not find his emotions. Thoughts swirled through his mind in no chronological order. This was not him. He usually had a regular, logical, trend of thought. Events which used to upset him flashed in his thoughts. He slowed them down, savouring and remembering how he used to feel about these events. He could not find his emotions. All he felt was stillness and calm, no matter how traumatizing the event had been. He was detached.

He had been away from emotion for a while. Busying himself with task after task. Creating more and more tasks to keep him busy. To keep him away from feeling. But deep down inside, was a sense of melancholy. He knew this so he worked harder. Working till the wee hours in the morning so that he would be knocked out the minute he went to bed. No room for thought or fantasy.

As far as he could, he stopped making acquaintances. He was too tired of setting up a facade for the sake of not being alone. Being alone was fine as long as he was not lonely. Most of the people he spent his time with could not diminish the loneliness he felt. He could've been surrounded by a band of people who thought they knew him but he'd rather be wandering alone.In his daily embarkment, he realised that he yearned for something. He wanted to be understood, to be known. People did not see him as he truly was. Few have come to witness his 4th dimension. He had no opportunity to express it as no one had given him the chance to.

Perhaps the impression he had created allowed everyone to assume that he never had a 4th dimension. The only thought that kept recurring in his mind was that no one would ever know him.He would continue to feel as alone as ever. "Solitude is good.. Solitude is good.." His solemnly chanted it in the Hope that one day he would grow to believe it. Yet, he didn't want to believe it. His flickering Hope was that someday, circumstances would be rearranged.

Through it all, Hope will sustain him. Hope & God.

Movie-of-the-Day

Rebecca and I watched Cars today. It's probably the longest cartoon I've ever watched. Entertaining nonetheless.
After that, we went to MacRitchie, ate at Thomson Plaza and ate CHOCOLATE FONDUE at Serangoon Garden!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Confused - Part 1

Is it an acknowledgement of the reality that there are always people better than me or is it a sign of resignation? I tried, but did I try hard enough? Someone once asked, are you gonna try your best or are you gonna do your best? Then again, when you have done your best, how do you know it's your best? And if your best was only so much, could you accept it? Are you supposed to accept it or strive to be better? Strive to be the first or nothing. Whose way is that? God's way or man's? If your best ranked you the last among men, should you be satisfied? Why is there this longing and desire to aim higher? To achieve greater heights? Are we striving for what is right? I am confused. What then does determination really mean? Does it mean that you are constantly unsatisfied with your current standing? Or does it mean that you have not reached your maximum potential? That brings us back to the question once again, what is your maximum potential?
How do we live in the present? How in today's society, do we fufill our resposibilities and live in the present? We always plan ahead. What do I plan to do to meet the deadline? What if we never lived to see that deadline? Would you regret spending time to try to meet that deadline instead of showing love to your neighbours? A saint was posed a question during a game of billiards. "If you were told you had 15min left to live, what would you do?" He replied, "I would continue playing billiards." How many of us can honestly give that same reply? How many of us can live in the present, constantly in anticipation? I am guilty of this and I know I will not break this cycle of tasks of planning for the near future, not the future that lasts an eternity. I am afraid. I am the biggest fool.

He - Part 1

He felt certain. He feels his certainty is eternal. He had never been more sure of it. All his doubts were swept aside by his Hope. His improbable but possible fantasy. He knew he should extinguish every little bit of hope but he did not want to.

He hid his thoughts in a maze of facades. He slipped away. Mentally detached yet physically connected to the world. He felt the constant need to disappear but lacked courage. He had fallen again. This time, he wasn't sure if he wanted to get up from that pit.

He tried to work out answers, the way he always did. Logically. But the situation was irrational. There might not be a reason. There might be no logic. It might be random. The lack of an answer left him with Hope. The kind of Hope that keeps a person going. The kind of Hope that drives someone to change. Ah yes.. Change. But change into what?

People he met asked him to change. But he paid no heed for what they requested of him was not a change in heart, mind or soul, but rather a change in body. A change in physical appearance.

The more people he met, the more events he witnessed, the more he lost faith in the human race. What was happening? What ever happened to morals, compassion, purity? Why was the world he had come to know so different from what he expected?

He wanted to be a hero, to make the difference. He tried to be a hero for a while. He started with people he knew but was misunderstood. Then tried with people he didn't know. But it was difficult. He had the will, but could only pray for guidance for he did not know if he had the ability to help.

Through it all, Hope kept him going. That was it. Hope and God.

Just a thought.

I've been really thinking about the past lately. Comparing past and present challenges. Thinking about past achievements. Thinking about people I once knew or was close with.
I want to feel that determination again. There is no goal. There is no fight. There is nothing to motivate me to really work hard for at this period in time.
I have almost everything I think I need. Money is material, money can be earned. Just 3 more years to financial independence. Don't be mistaken. I just want enough so that there will be no worries about paying bills. I HATE worrying about things I have almost no power over. I'm always in that situation. Back to the point, what I need is not material. What I need is what I think everyone needs - relationship with self, family, friends, lovers, mankind and God. If only these could be achieved just by setting a goal and aiming to achieve it.
My down periods are no longer really down and my up periods are not really up. It is monotone hanging on a high note. I used to be terrified if my life was going well because I would feel that life has been too good and something big was about to happen.
Anyway, I actually thought it was impossible to find a friend if she (not applicable for guys) was not from Cedar (I know this sounds a little childish but I'm being honest). I guess in the past week, many things have changed in my life. I am pleasantly surprised to find people who are still uncorrupt by the ways of the world. It surprises me that people may share certain ideals with me. I am of course excluding Christians who will probably share the same ideals. As thus far, I have met 2 people who are already living a life of love and yet they are not Christians. In contrast, I have met many Christians who do not live a life of love (myself included I think, but I'm trying). There is hope for anything and anyone (though I often fail to believe this).

Chat-of-the-Day

I met Ivan at 9am this morning (actually it was 8.51am to be precise)! We had BK's equivalent of the Big Breakfast and skipped lunch (we forgot about lunch). We planned the activities for our 12 sessions together but it's incomplete. We started talking about other happenings.
I only realized today that I have been seeing Ivan quite a lot recently. To all others whom I don't seem to have time for: I'm sorry, I'm only free at weird hours on limited days, therefore, unless you are willing to meet me at 10pm, I can't meet up. *sighz* I wish I had more time.
Anyway, Ivan and I talked a lot (DUH). We went to MacRitchie after leaving the freezing cold BK at Wheelock. We trekked the 4.8km route.
Nearing the finishing point, Susie Lim messaged me: "Jaime! Who's that walking with you along the romantic macritchie?" She also claimed that I was holding his hand!!! That never did and never will happen.
Well, it won't be long till the other Cedar x-cty people get to hear about it (speaking from experience). I'm numb to teasing, YAY!
At the finishing line, I saw Ms Lee and went to talk to her. She asked me what I was doing there and I said I was walking around. Then she said that I went there to 'pattor'! Oh man! Ivan?!?!?! NEVER. She so wanted to 'suan' me and I think she was waiting for me to introduce Ivan but I didn't (on purpose). It's weird because when she saw me with Andrew, she said nothing of that sort. Oh well.
In the evening, I had Fathers' Day dinner at home with Julius, Agnes, Heratius and my father of course!
Rebecca: Another long entry for you. Send me photossss!!!!!!! The at17, Chet and gang!!! =)

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Training-of-the-Day

I met up with the NUS ODACians who were rather friendly. We trained by walking with weighted backpacks up and down slope.
LeAnn Rimes - The Right Kind of Wrong
By the way, note that my entries are slightly longer than usual because Rebecca has requested me to write more per journal entry!

Friday, June 16, 2006

Training-of-the-Day

We ate breakfast at McDonald's this morning. In the afternoon, I met some NUS ODAC people to train at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve!.

War-of-the-Day

We played a waterbomb game. I spent 12 hours in Sentosa!
After FOC, I rushed off to meet Ivan and Rebecca! I was about an hour late. This is a "public apology" to Rebecca Toh for being so late and for rushing down via taxi (I feel so gulty, sorry Becca!) We ate Pasta Mania for dinner and watched R.V. (seriously hilarious) at Plaza Singapura.
After the movie, we went alongside the Singapore River to chat the night away.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

FOC-of-the-Day

All I remember was that I felt sleepy.
We carried on with the campus games today.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

FOC-of-the-Day

We carried on with FOC.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

FOC-of-the-Day

I got lost 3 times in Eusoff Hall today. It was really confusing. I introduced myself to some freshmen.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Happenings-of-the-Day

In the morning, we (Rebecca, Serena and I) sent at17 and Chet off to the airport. We took photos with them, their managers and musicians! It was really fun. Anyway, Chet and the rest think I look like Zhang Ziyi. What a compliment!
They are a nice bunch of people from Hong Kong and I love their songs (even though they may be in Cantonese/Mandarin)!!!
at17 will be having their concert in October. Exciting.
I brought Rebecca back home for the first time. I think she likes Titus (and Titus loves her more than he loves me!) I feel bad leaving her to entertain herself with a broken guitar (I didn't realize it wasn't working).
We went on tour of Seletar Camp and of the reservoir and proceeded on to dinner at Northpoint.
After that, I went to NUS to join in for Day 0 of Catholic Students' Society Freshmen Orientation Camp (CSS FOC).

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Pig-of-the-Day

I apologise to Rebecca for the reference to her in the title of today's posting. Well, I waited from about 9am to 10am for access to the hotel room. This was due to Rebecca not waking up upon the ringing of her handphone (despite the fact that she kept her hp in her hands). At least she made an effort by placing her hp with her.
At 10am, I gained access by calling the room phone and Serena came down to the lift lobby to get me.
In the evening, at17 and Chet Lam performed at Fort Canning Park. It was an excellent performance. I especially enjoyed at17. YUMMIE.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Stayovers-of-the-Day

I stayed over at the Grand Copthorne Hotel last night and stayed over at the Air Weapons Club chalet this night.

The hotel stay was fantabulous especially since Rebecca, Serena and I stayed over. We spent a whole lot of time talking (and not sleeping) and Rebecca would accuse me of talking the whole night. When I actually stopped talking, she found it too quiet. Apparently, she likes to listen to what I have to say. I think she loves my voice. I should record tapes/MP3s and send it to her.

Friday, June 09, 2006

Artistes-of-the-Day

I started the first day of my job for PopVillage. Well, my artistes were at17 and Chet Lam. For the first time in my life, I received folks from the airport (and they were strangers).

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Workshop-of-the-Day

I had facilitator workshop today. We made the props for the games and conducted a dry run for the night games.

During the night games, I had to run after a group of people because they thought I had to tag them for them to be caught. Well, at least I got to excercise just a little.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Stress-of-the-Day

I am very busy. VERY. Anyway, I had a nice dinner with Rebecca and Serena this evening. Won't be home for the next week. Till then! BYE.
SUPER STRESSED.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Time-of-the-Day

Today, I finally had some time to stay home and do some tasks. In the evening, I had ScienceFCG Comm meeting!

Monday, June 05, 2006

Movie-of-the-Day

Sandra and I watched X-Men III this morning. The movie was exciting but I felt the story was not as good as episode 2.
In the evening, I went to pQ's home and watched television. I got to see Edmund Chen (the Asian version of Tom Cruise)!

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Place-of-the-Day

In the afternoon, Irving and I met to eat at Plaza Sinagpura. We then took bus 64 to Miramah Hotel to leave our bags there. We ran from Miramah Hotel to Mount Faber. Mount Faber has a great view! We sat at the cafe for a while before proceeding to some quiet spot with a good view to talk. We ran back to the hotel and went to the famous Zion food centre to eat!
Now, I am at rZ's house to stay over at her place!

Saturday, June 03, 2006

Person-of-the-Day

From morning till evening, I was helping out at NUSIS. After that, we went to Cafe Cartel for dinner!
At night, I finally met my online friend, Rebecca. We (the 2 of us + Ivan) played badminton and slacked at Mos Burger after that!

Friday, June 02, 2006

Competition-of-the-Day

I shot at NUSIS this year. APW(S). Score was 317/400.
"The desire to excel.
The passion to dedicate.
The determination to see it through."
I must fail before I can claim to be determined by rising after each failure.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

NUSIS-of-the-Day

I went down to Yishun SAFRA after work to help out in NUSIS! There's so much food to keep me entertained during the long breaks!!!