The desire to excel. The passion to dedicate. The determination to see it through.

Sunday, August 31, 2008


Went to watch The Clone Wars with Jincai. Headed down to town early early to find parking space as I was about to run the Nike Human Race (11 000 peeps in SG). Anyway, at the run, met so many people! Met everyone but Ms Goh Piggy! Haha. We were supposed to run together. She lar! So late! Then me no hp with me. Was running with Jasmin Choo and Geraldine then ran with Jasmine (Windsurfer). Not bad! We ran a nice pace most of the way! Had to stop sometimes cos of human jam! It was an easy run that was difficult to run, if you get what I mean. A lot of cutting of people! Too many people!

Anyway, met up with XY, HJ, A, JF and TC for dinner at Waraku after that!

In the morning...
So cute, I just read a poem Charmaine Ng wrote for me in primary school:

Jaime Jaime on a tree,
Why don't you sit with me?
We can have chocos and tea!
And it will be so Yummee!

Just rant... Haha. Nothing important.. Just recollection to immortalize some of this into memory since I won't have them in hardcopy..
Wah, so many people I used to know and talk to.. Ning Xia (OMG, she's the damn nice senior who's a prefect. DAMN DAMN nice. She call me Xena cos when we shifted all the benches in our canteen out of the canteen, I one person carry 2 benches at one go). Chau King (my badminton friend.. haven't met her since I stopped playing badminton.. crap. ok, we shall change activity. she regarded me as the man in Cedar. Now my FST friends regard me as the only guy in the class also. MEANIE. We have a guy in class but when the lecturer refer to the guy in the class, they point to me.) Sok Hong (the Cedar legend). Charmaine Chai (smartie kid! my primary school friend who's gonna be a DOCTOR soon. must meet up with her!). Chew Zhenxiang (my gay friend)!!! Shuowen (the most courteous Cedarian.. she really won that award ok. nice girl.) Funny, last time our team used to write notes/letters/postcards before each competition to encourage each other. Quite cool. We usually went around hugging everyone a few hours before our race. Damn scary can. It's the only action that could calm us down (must hug and squeeze a while that kind).. At least can calm me down. A simple sms before the race was cool too. (",) Oh, damn funny, I just read one that said "You're kinda quiet" and I know many of you would disagree. Haha. That was in sec 3. Not very quiet now. Hard to imagine right? Audrey Quek (the girl who made me stop cursing and swearing as if those words were my punctuation marks.. the gal who made me write letters to her and tried to get me to start blogging. lol. Also, the girl who asked me to believe in myself and had so much faith in me.. even told me I motivated her at training.. weird cos.. she's a way better runner than me!!! damn fast this girl. There was only once I could see her when I was finishing a run.. cos Ms Lee run with me.. up Marist Stella slope.. almost died. contributed to my running and PBs. Much to thank you for.. nvm, I'll see you around anyway.) Anyhow, too many to mention! Some of them I sincerely cannot remember who they are. Tsk tsk. All my once upon a time.. Wah seh! Last time my target cards so ugly ONE ar!!! EEK. Don't dare to see. Why Jimmy bother to train me? Haha. I just saw my April 2008 cards (just came back from recovery). I was like.. This year is 2008? I shot this card in 2008? SO GROSS! Clear clear! Got to clear my house! Garage sale!!! Soon, me gonna have blog give-away post!

Saturday, August 30, 2008


Had Sports Club meeting in the morning. After that, we had FST Annual Bowling! The bowling helped me crack back my 4th finger. Sprained it from bball the other time. After that, some of us headed for ice cream! We had ice cream last year as well. Haha. We are making this a tradition. Ate at Clementi Arcade, The Daily Scoop. DAMN NICE FLAVOURS. The shop was set up by a former NUS FST student. Cool. The Xtra Stout flavoured ice cream (recommended by Chewy) is DAMN NICE. Actually, the flavours all DAMN NICE. If you love ice cream, you will LOVE this shop. It's the BEST EVA.

Crazy. Cheerful. Hero. That was my motto. I wanted to be a hero. Was looking through my personal letters. Have boxes of them since Primary school. They serve like warm fuzzies, especially those sincere appreciation letters. You know what? It's not the letters that congratulate me for achieving things in life that warms my heart but rather those of appreciation. Knowing that you've helped at least one person in your life, warrants you a purpose to have been alive. I never lost the ability. I simply stopped and lost the time.. time which was never mine. Individualism.

I should put a day aside just to write letters to thank everyone for helping me to grow into a stronger, better person. There is still much work to be done but that gives me another reason to live right?

That's all I need to remember from yesterday. Ideals don't exist but we should still work towards the ideal!

Symbolism. Am I reading too much into it? Things which are so familiar to me but probably borrowed ideas.. This chapter has ended. I really need to flip the page.

Friday, August 29, 2008


Had the AWC Bi-monthly Shoot today. It was DAMN crowded! So many people came. Luckily we booked the whole range (and we still lacked lanes in the last 3 details). CRAZY.

Very weird. My trigger pressure became super light all of a sudden. It wasn't like that when I trained on Wed. I haven't touched the trigger adjustments since equipment check at SG Open. I thought it was me until CPF used my gun and told me that. Even CPF knows my trigger super light! Ok, but that didn't affect my shoot much, if at all.

Anyhow, I crashed. Totally CRASHED. 349/400 (93, 83, 85, 88). I shot two 5s in the 2nd and 3rd series. 3rd last and last shot was 7. I shall not even bother to explain. Nothing is more convincing than success.

Thursday, August 28, 2008


The near future is filled with uncertainty but then again, whose is certain? Somehow talking makes things real. If you keep it internalized you seem to delude yourself, not knowing or rather not admitting your opinions and emotions about the matter. However, if there isn't a choice, then emotions are irrelevant. Your seemingly simple question is simply the most complex. Sometimes unnoticed silence is the best answer.

Let's just focus and do the best with what I have!

Wednesday, August 27, 2008


Went training today. Felt like I kept doing rubbish so I erm, stopped to think. Then realized and tried something.. Much much better! Slow is better than no progress!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008


Finally made my way to the labs today! Learned how to use the SFM-300. Heh. Had a mini lab orientation by Derrick but we realized we still don't know our way around. I finally hit the lab!

Monday, August 25, 2008


Today was a (fast)food day!

Had breakfast with rZ at Serangoon Mc's then we headed to Clarke Quay to collect our Nike+ Race Packs! My first number tag that's printed to a t-shirt. Figured we're slack. They were asking us how long that we'd take to run so that can slot us into various flag-off positions. I simply told them to give me the green band (i.e. the slowest). LOL. So no pressure to whack (even though rZ was saying that it's quite hard to run above 65min but well.. less chance of seeing ex-trackers.. saw some from our era from St Nix today. Expecting to see Mr Tay and Ms Lee at the race too). With the huge volume of people, bottlenecking and a non-competitive spirit, I foresee much of an inconsistent pace. Oh well, that's fartlek for us! Wah, hope don't see Ms Lee there.. She sure ask us whack/follow her pace.. And she'll laugh at us if we don't? We'll just die (when I was running, she ran like 12km in 50min).. Gosh.

Met Heeman for movie/lunch! We watched Love Guru. Haha. Quite lame and some parts are kinda funny! Had lunch at BK! Wah, he never change one - outside punk; inside guai boy. Know him 8 years liao.

Met Poh for tea! I went to Potong Pasir to be collected! The last time I was there, I was in Cedar and now, the place is so different! Anyway, we ate at Compass Point KFC.

If you've got about 5min to spare, check out this skit about God by Lifehouse.. The start is a bit slow but towards the end, it's good.. Quite cool.

Sunday, August 24, 2008


Went training then spent the day with work! Shopped for breakfast/dinner in less than 30min! My uncountable attempt to start eating breakfast (at least I'm definitely having breakfast tmr - rZ just called me go breakfast tmr..)! That phone call was the funniest! rZ's sister called me and I thought it was rZ trying to be Precious (the teddy bear) then I was like "I don't wanna talk to you.. U are Precious"! Ok, I think onie Seppie and pQ can understand what I mean. HAHA. So paiseh!!! We always have a very weird 1min conversation before we can get to the point! Made it home just in time to watch the Olympics closing ceremony. What a cold cold day! Wore my jacket everywhere! Yawnz..

Saturday, August 23, 2008


I spent a record $8 on Sakae today. I ate damn little. Anyway, had a movie marathon with lotsa snacks at LK's place. Watched The Spirit Compendium, The Protege and Pan's Labyrinth!

Hi, it's me again.

Let it flow.. Let it manifest.
Let me drop to the ground.. Smash my knees.
Take control, for I am losing it.
Take this, transform this for your purpose, for I have none.
A gift, not just present.

When free will becomes a curse..
I'm only flesh and blood, born to make mistakes.
And before I ask, you have already forgiven.

When decisions aren't mine to make,
And all I have to do is obey..
Leaving this world knowing I've done more good than harm.
The world will see you and come to know you.
What is real is what I cannot see..

Friday, August 22, 2008


Today we had the AWC Basic Course. HMM. We had 50+ attendees (that's after I rejected MORE THAN 10 earlier today on the basis that there weren't any vacancies left and there's more than 10 others who have lectures or other events on today and requested for another session.. the response is crazy.. let's not even talk about those who have background in shooting and needn't attend the basic course). -flipside- That's a whole lot of people. *scratches head*

Operation: Initiation has finally come to a conclusion.
Next - Mission: Happening-ism.

Thursday, August 21, 2008


Hmm, it's been a while since I had such a title. Well, I have accomplished 10% of my honours project. At least the proposal is worth 10%. Haha. I hope all goes well with that!

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


Headed down to Marsiling at 7.45am to get Valen serviced! Wah, such a nice and smooth ride now! Clean too!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008


Had lecture then headed to teach basic course. After that, headed back to NUS for AWC Orientation! I didn't eat any proper meal today! Snack snack. Gosh. At this rate, I'm gonna burn-out in a week!

Monday, August 18, 2008


No prize for guessing what I did most of the day. I buried myself in work and at the Science Library. Met up with my honours project supervisor for about 30min. I made a decision at around 3pm today that I was gonna leave work out of the equation after my meeting with my supervisor at 4.30pm. My proposal seems ok. At least I'm on the right track so I almost have nothing to edit. I have no post-grad student that I'm attached to so.. it's really rather independent. I like to work alone anyway. There's no other FST students in the lab. It's like a computer lab place. Wow. S7.. I'm really isolated.

In the evening, went to watch Meet Dave with Sandra! Quite funny movie! After that, had western food at the Yishun kopitiam. The steak was damn nice today (or maybe I haven't really eaten in a couple of days). Even went to Mc's to get apple pie and coke for dessert. I still feel stressed in midst of all this "playing". Something inside of me that I need to release. I need an avenue for my energy. Too much potential energy all built up. I need to do something extremely explosive/radical.. Like whack REALLY hard for a long run. Nike+ 10km run coming soon anyway.

Heart on fire. Just when I wanted to give up the sport.. Let's put this heart and soul back into it.. I always wonder what I can really do if I max out my potential. I want to keep it in wonder.. Cos I never want to reach those limits... Limits shouldn't exist. Go for it-

-feeling like humpty dumpty-

Sunday, August 17, 2008


Super pia my work today. Had half a curry puff for lunch cos I was too busy to eat and neither did I have the appetite to. Forced myself away from the desk when it was time to go for basketball. I basically took a deep breath and shut the screen of my laptop so all my windows will still be open when I get home! Didn't really have the mood to play though for various reasons, mainly work. Usually don't play when me still have work. Was quite a nice game though. Good weather!


Saturday, August 16, 2008


Ok, this is like Day 3 of slogging with Honours Project!!! All day! Meals were taken late and for like 5min. Super chiong.. I feel super behind my friends.. And super blur.

I spoke to Pat for an hour today. It's been a while since I was on the phone that long! Had some questions for her about my project. I was actually quite able to explain my project so.. actually.. not that blur.. Learned a lot from the scientific pool of knowledge from journals, textbooks, notes, blah blah.

Do it once, do it well...


I'm on the verge of screaming and shouting and whacking something.


Friday, August 15, 2008


Went for my SW2104: Human Development Over the Lifespan lecture today. It's the first time I'm taking a module with no one I know (usually will have at least one from FST). The topics seem interesting (very psych.. Nature vs Nurture.. Psychosexual Theory.. Blah blah) and I know why I need a textbook (thanks QL for lending me and allowing me to highlight your textbook.. Just because of my OCD character when shooting.. Tsk tsk. No worries, me treat my notes, academic books and materials with utmost respect).

Talking about OCD.. QL tried to test my OCD at training today! She shifted my stack of target cards which I was about shoot by a little. I semi-consciously shifted it back. She was asking me if I knew what she did then she was saying I not THAT OCD. Then when she told me, I told her I shifted it back liao. HAHA. Sorrie man, I know how my stuff should be. That was quite funny.

Thursday, August 14, 2008


Headed to school not knowing there was no lecture! We were emailed only in the morning! So we all kind of went to school and had a shock. Anyway, we celebrated Chewy's birthday today (actual day is this Sat)! Had pieces of cakes pieced together to form a "whole" cake from Spinelli! The chocolate cakes are shiok!!!

Started the day with conditioning (abs, weights and Thera-band). Tsk tsk. Weak, but it's a start! Spent the day for academic pursuits. Chiminology. Now I know why my honours project is worth 16 modular credits!! After dinner, did my Food Journal for Sociology of Food! Nice. Read through the course outline too. Damn interesting module. There's cooking, fasting, etc.! Additionally, I have prior knowledge to some topics covered! In doing my Food Journal, I realized my meals are rather disordered and I tend to eat my meals alone unless I go to the range. Contrary to popular belief, I tend to eat for survival and not for the love of it (at least during the semester). Most of the food that goes into my mouth happens out of convenience and I don't exactly select the food I eat. This happens as I usually don't mind eating anything (which is considered food), not much preference for normal daily food. Hmm.. Humans complex things. Everything seems to be a social construct.. I think sociologists will agree with me!

Today, I get to sleep at 11pm too! YAY!!! Planning work is GOOD!

"We do not live the afternoon of life according to the programme of life in the morning, for what was great in the morning will be little in the evening."
- Carl Jung

Wednesday, August 13, 2008


Finally got my life in order (except for the mess of stuff from yesterday.. shall settle that tomorrow)! Planned my mug time & activities, etc! Today, I get to sleep at 11pm! YAY!!!

Went training in the evening. Shot one of the best (if not the best) card ever. But crashed after that. Haha. HMM. Damn tired man. Training is tiring!!! Zombiefying.

20 shot grouping:

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Went for formal lessons today for the first time in a very long time! I saw like 15 people I knew in a span of 2 hours at FASS! Saw mainly my sec sch people (or rather they saw me.. I can be kinda blur). Funny sia. Everywhere we turn and walk, we say hi (we = pQ and I).

Had AWC Welcome Tea today! Tiring but fun day! So tired but I just can't sleep.

When trials come. They decide to come crashing down on you, trying to crush you. But then you'll always find a way to emerge from the rubble. And that shows what you're made of.

The road ahead seems daunting. Let's get this act together! I can. I must. I WILL. -Discipline- Challenge and adversity brings out the best in me. I can be so illogical at times.. Aren't we all??? Sometimes we can't leave all the thinking to the head. A two-pronged approach with the head and the heart. After all this time.. I'm still wondering WHY... I think I know.. If only I could click UNDO. I can't... "Sorry" is not a magical word and at times I can't even bring myself to say this "magical" word. I say the worst things to people I care about the most. I worry cos your problems are not for you to bear alone. I can alleviate the situation and so I shall, whether you know it or not. Have always been and will always be. Let's not focus on the problem. Focus on the solution.. I believe in perseverance. I believe in sincerity. I believe these translate into actions. I believe I can only do my best.. I can't control the outcome.. But all these will inevitably make me a better person. Have I confused you? I'm talking to too many people at once and yet only to myself. 休息是为了走更长远的路。Time to rest.

I hoped. I wished. But then I forgot to pray.

His strength, not mine.

Monday, August 11, 2008


Clearing my stuff up! Was going through my report books etc.! Think I've done some amazing stuff (not trying to be narcissistic).. It motivates me for my final year.

2 main aims:
  1. Academic success
  2. Fitness
Had a dinner buffet treat at Yuki&Yaki from Big Grace this evening! Thanks A BUNCH! Most importantly, CONGRATZ!!!

Sunday, August 10, 2008


-Evening time-
I think I could have been paralysed. Thank God... It's been a while since I was really thankful for something unfortunate that happened.. cos it could have been worse. I was on the top of my house steps and my dog rammed me from the back.. She was running around damn fast and excitedly cos I just came home. I practically flew into the air and landed my back on the steps. I realized that when you're in the air and falling.. a lot of thoughts rush through your mind. I was thinking.. "Am I gonna hit my head and die or my back and become paralyzed?" I hit hard on the left side of my back, near the spine. The impact was damn hard and damn pain. For the first time in my life, I couldn't get up after a fall. My father had to come and carry me. So pain, the tears just flowed - due to a mixture of relief and pain. Ok, being paralyzed is my number 1 fear. The skin on my left of my back has been scraped raw. Damn pain, cannot lie down. Left arm bone damn pain too. I having a crazy headache!!! Many a times, life could be worse.. We're probably already getting what would be best for us. Haha, I can't bend move my back a lot so I gotta sit up straight. At least the posture is right. -phew-

Went for the HTNS Monthly Shoot this morning. The last time I went for this was in Sept 2007. I didn't know it was so long ago! Went for SSA monthly in January though. Anyway, today's score was 356/400. Okay for now I guess.. I need to train my muscles. Fatigue. I shot two 7s. 2 shots I should have never pulled.

Patience - when time becomes my infinity...

How can you hold on to something that was never yours???

Saturday, August 09, 2008


Had an indoor "picnic" at LK's place today! Intended to head to ECP but Singapore was flooded in rain! Quite happy with the food! Haha.

Happy National Day!

Friday, August 08, 2008


Spent the day preparing for picnic and Welcome Tea with ZJ, PF and YX till 2+am!!! Art and craft day! Long time haven't touched crafty stuff!

Managed to watch some of the Olympics opening ceremony.. NICE!

Thursday, August 07, 2008


Honors O-Week: Day 4

Faculty Safety Orientation Training today!!! The day started at 8.30am and ended at 5.30pm! It ended with a 1 hour test which consisted of MCQ, True/False Questions and Short-Answer Questions! Tsk. Had to write so much.

The best part was that there were 2 tea breaks (apart from lunch break)! One tea break in the morning and the other later in the afternoon! Guess what.. tea reception provided on both occasions!!! So nice to Honors students sia.. Ytd got fruits, today got tea(s)!

Tea Reception 1:
  • Soon Kueh
  • Samosa
  • Springroll
  • Sandwich
  • Coffee/Tea

Tea Reception 2:
  • Chee Cheong Fun
  • Otah Fishcake
  • Chicken Drumlet
  • Sponge Cake
  • Chocolate Éclairs (DAMN GOOD. THEY WERE COLD!!!)
  • Orleng Joo (aka Orange Juice)
Check out wikipedia on Singlish. Damn cool. Check this out!

Anyway, played more novelty shoot this evening. Training was not bad today. The weirdest feeling occurred today! After removing my hand from the gun after training, I swung it around. It stayed solid in that position as if I had never removed my hand from the grip. I was like.. wah.. not bad sia. Like cement. Then ar.. I could NOT voluntarily move my 3rd, 4th and 5th fingers! Cannot squeeze it in nor open my hand up! I willed it so hard. I was like.. this is retarded. Had to use my left hand to pry those fingers. The sensation was damn weird but nice! LOL.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008


Honors O-Week: Day 3

More lectures!
  • Research
  • Scientific Ethics in Chemistry
  • Research in Industry vs Academia
In the afternoon, we had a social event! I was actually enthusiastic to go for it cos it was a FRUITS SESSION!!! Got durian, longan, mangosteen and rambutan!!! The main feature was durian! There were 3 wooden tables FILLED WITH DURIAN! Lots of leftover. Think our social event was to socialise with the fruits. LOL. Damn happie (courtesy of NUS Department of Chemistry).

In the evening, kind of played Novelty Shoot. Fun fun!

Tuesday, August 05, 2008


Honors O-Week: Day 2

  • Statistical Parameters & their Meaning
  • Probability Distributions & Hypotheses Testing
  • Regression Analysis (LOST.. Chiminology.)
These 3 lectures had tutorials too! Wah.. Started a bit of the brain engine today. Needs oiling. 加油! Spent the evening playing with ADOBE Photoshop. Learning more and more about the program each time!

Monday, August 04, 2008


Honors O-Week: Day 1

Started school at 9am this morning with an introductory lecture by the Chemistry department, with a follow-up by our FST lecturer! We learned how to use Web of Knowledge and EndNote for literature searches! EndNote is a damn cool bibliographical program that easily changes between the various styles of bibliography available. Excellent for anyone who needs to write papers!

We also attended other lectures:
  • Written English in Science
  • Presentations
  • Writing a Scientific Paper

Sunday, August 03, 2008


Went for lunch with my family to celebrate Justin's birthday! Ate at Crystal Jade Kitchen! In the evening, met up with Andy, Ruiz, HJ and XY at Paulaner. Nice place.

Why spend your wages on that which does not satisfy?

Saturday, August 02, 2008


Passed my Riding Theory Evaluation with 98% correct!

Friday, August 01, 2008


Today was a jam-packed day:
  • Riding Theory Practice: 8.00am-8.45am
  • Corporate Shoot: 9am-12pm
  • Survey: 1.00pm-2.30pm
  • Bike Lesson: 4.00pm-5.00pm
  • Soup Restaurant Dinner: 6.30pm onwards
First time Sandra and I ate at Soup Restaurant. The Samsui Ginger Chicken is excellent!!! Good food!

Happie Birthday Sandra!!!