The desire to excel. The passion to dedicate. The determination to see it through.

Thursday, November 30, 2006


I went for a swim (the usual 30 laps) this evening! Anyway, today is a happy day! (",)

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


After studying a couple of hours, I met yQ for lunch and to watch Casino Royale. It's entertaining. While I was waiting for my bus back to MacRitchie, Andrew called just in time and I took the MRT to meet him for dinner.

I remember it hit hard on me the first time someone told me that no one said life was fair. I think I was 14. My brother screamed at me and shook me violently just to get it in my head. I fell silent upon hearing those words. Some moments in life will never be forgotten. Before that, I always thought everything had to be fair. There always had to be some form of equality and justice. From that day, I realized life had nothing to do with fairness and you just have to deal with the shit that it dishes out. The most comforting thing I heard after that was that if God brought you to it, he will bring you through it and that he gives everyone just the amount they can handle. So the next time you fall into a puddle of shit, just remember it's nothing you can't handle.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006


I had SSA2215 examination in the morning and LSM2101 examination in the evening. Is it just me or are the examinations getting tougher and tougher? 3 down, 1 more to go.

Anyway, in the evening, I met Heeman to eat! I was starving. We ate at Koufu at Fernvale. Nice boy. He probably ate dinner already but he met me to eat anyway, even on such short notice. I realized I usually meet him once a semester. The last time I met him was during the examination period too!

Goodness, I feel stressed. Examinations usually don't get me this stressed.

Monday, November 27, 2006


I had pasta and smoked chicken for lunch and dinner today! Excellent! I'm planning my holiday activities already, suggestions are welcome at my comments page! My exams end as soon as this week ends!!!

Sunday, November 26, 2006


How solid are you?
Even rocks erode in time.
Are those words just lost in rhyme?
Let's turn back the clock,
And live out memories.
Will you try,
Or leave me behind?

Saturday, November 25, 2006


In the afternoon, we had FST2102 examination. It was a tough paper as expected. T'was mainly application and the questions were rather vague.

While I was doing the paper, I had to remind myself that I was sitting for an exam. It was as if I couldn't believe I was taking an exam.

I think exams make me feel alive. I have to think, write fast and keep track of time. This exam was rather stressful and I suffered post-trauma. I had to drink a can of cola to calm myself down before starting to mug again. One down, three more to go!

Friday, November 24, 2006


I have a stalker. He's short, has thick brown hair and dark eyes. He follows me around especially on rainy days. I managed to take a photo of him. Here he is:

And yes, at times, ignorance is bliss. Ignorance is ignorance if you are ignorant and not if you choose to ignore.

Good night.

Good day.

Thursday, November 23, 2006


Wow, my camera phone has rather good resolution.

I worked for a couple of hours in the evening. I got lost on the way home! I just can't seem to recognize anything at night neither can I ever remember how to get from Tampines MRT to the 168 bus stop.
How many of us stop to listen for the answer when we ask "how are you"?
"How do you feel?" That is the question. But I forget, you don't expect an easy answer.
So while you're outside looking in, describing what you see, remember what you're staring at is me.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006


I finally upgraded to a Sony Ericsson W800i. In the evening, I was at Chinatown. Don't think I've ever been to that part of Singapore before.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006


I made home-made cheese biscuits! Just crackers, topped with cheddar cheese and toasted to perfection in the oven!

Monday, November 20, 2006


Stop walking on the grass! Trampling causes soil compaction which leads to barren ground. Soil compaction causes lower soil porosity and lower rate of infiltration of rainwater into the soil so vegetation does not grow well leading to barren ground. Don't walk on grass to take a shortcut! Save the earth!
Joan of Arc:
  • had visions from God and was brave enough to voice them
  • was a peasant girl
  • believed that France could win battles when they had not won any major battles for an entire generation
  • she predicted a military reversal which came through
  • she requested to lead the French army and her request was granted (probably because of a failing regime)
  • she used aggressive strategy (while the French normally used cautious strategy)
  • she renewed French confidence
  • she led them to victory
  • she started these at the age of 16 and ended it with a conviction of heresy followed by execution at the age of 19
  • she had a re-trial and was pronounced innocent

In other words, she believed in what no other man believed. She was determined to see her vision through. She was brave enough to lead a French army with no prior experience. She was different in her approach. Some people called her crazy.

All it took was one person. One person crazy enough to believe in the unbelievable. One person crazy enough to take courage. One person crazy enough to be so determined. One person crazy enough to rise up. One person crazy enough to lead. One person crazy enough to dictate history.

Perhaps that's why there are so little people who are successful in life. There aren't too many crazy people around.

We're never too young to get crazy about things. Joan of Arc made history in a couple of years, dying at the age of 19. In her short lifetime, she has done much greater things than any of us have accomplished in our lifetime. Let's get crazy.

Anyway, to be fair, she didn't do it alone. God was with her. Who could be against her?

Sunday, November 19, 2006


In the evening, pQ and I went for a run at MacRitchie. Actually it was a walk-a-jog. Anyway, we met Ms Lee there. It's been a while since we last saw her.

Saturday, November 18, 2006


Today began with a sunny day ending in shady thoughts.

In the evening, I had dinner with my family (Jan & Pat and my father) at Compasspoint's Sakura. The service was prompt and the food came quick. The tom yam soup is really spicy at first and then I think our taste-buds became numb and it was better after that.
Anyway, I should learn Chinese all over again. I knew this day would come so I kept a few books from the days when learning the language was compulsory for me. Well, now it's not studying for the grades. I need the conversational skills or least understand half of what people say and communicate back without having to pause for half a lifetime to make the translation in my head. It's not that I never took the language seriously. I tried hard. Hai. You're not me, you guys don't get it. At least I still have English.
Anyway, I'm planning my way to financial independence as soon as I can. Just entering the university has left me some debts. As soon as I clear my tuition fee loan and laptop loan, I'm going to avoid taking another loan from anyone or any bank again. I just want to be on my own.
I always felt that I don't belong here. It's not Singapore I'm talking about. It's this world. This place. There is an utopia and it's not here. The closest we can get to that utopia is through love and peace. I don't know if I can ever dare to seek that paradise again. Maybe I don't deserve it. Maybe no one deserves it. It's like a gift. We don't deserve it but it's given to us. What if I choose to reject it? Wouldn't I be a fool? We're probably all fools chasing cars.
The more I flip through the papers, the more I see things that I think I desire. There were times when I wanted these things so badly but after I got them, it wasn't such a big deal anymore. There were times that I wanted nothing more in life and I appreciated life in its entirety. Those were the most peaceful days of my life. All my loved ones were happy with their lives. Suddenly, the world spun around this year. Hopefully next year will be better.
I was looking for a job in the papers. Not just any ordinary job. The kind with a tinge of adventure and excitement. I shouldn't have looked in the papers. There's nothing that exciting there. Maybe I should work for national parks in some country. Maybe I should work for adventure schools. Maybe I shouldn't work at all. I could just pack up, learn some survival skills and get lost in some jungle. But.. That's something I won't do. I can't just isolate myself although I would like to. I have a greater purpose in life. We all do.
I just realized that I feel more relaxed as the exams approach. All assignments, projects and classes for this semester are over. I work around a rigid timetable. I wake up at 7+am, eat my breakfast, start work at 8am, break at 12noon, lunch till 1pm, work till 6 or 7pm, dinner for an hour and back to work till 10pm. This is usually the case unless I finish studying the relevant topics for that day. Today, I stopped work at 3+pm. That's much earlier than expected. By the way, congratulations if you made it to reading this far. I meant to write an unusually long blog entry to deter people from reading it.
One more thing. Christmas is just around the corner and I have a confession to make. You know all these years, you haven't gotten a single present from Santa and you were told you were naughty those years? Well, that's cause I stole them from underneath your Christmas tree. You better get a burglar alarm system.
Keep me busy. Maybe then I won't have to think so much.
"You only steal from the rich because the rich have something worth stealing." Hmm.. Tell that to Robin Hood.

Friday, November 17, 2006


I have work this evening to do surveys. Well, I've had some time on my hands and was going through the papers. Buffets and all-you-can-eat offers are getting cheaper and cheaper! Dining for all-you-can-eat Ala Carte at Mount Faber's Restaurant Marina Deck is $15 nett (adults)!!! I'm getting greedy. Anyone want to eat with me? (This is a great example of a marketing tool called Word of Mouth. Hmm.. if only I got paid for this.)
Anyway, like many others, I'm obsessed with the accumulation of wealth so let me know of any job offers (unless it's smack in the middle of my exams: 25th Nov to 1st Dec).

Thursday, November 16, 2006


I love having breakfast! It seems like the only time I can peacefully have breakfast is when school's out! I love deciding what I can have for breakfast, making breakfast and finally eating it! Well, today I woke up a little later than usual so I had to have breakfast on my study table, just as well!
I came across Ellman's reagent while doing some revision. It reminded me of at17. Haha. Anyway, studying too long makes me retarded or at least it makes me do retarded stuff. Ok. It was funny. I entertained myself but I ain't gonna share it with you. :p

Wednesday, November 15, 2006


While I study, my dog sleeps beside me. Today, he woke up suddenly startled, realized that there was nothing to be startled about and went back to sleep. He has done this several times in his lifetime. There was once he even woke up with a bark and then went back to sleep. I was sure it wasn't due to the surroundings or another dog's bark or an intruder. If it was any of those, he would have ran out to investigate. It appears as if he had a dream. Do dogs dream? I never thought so until I observed my dog. If he can love his master and experience fear, why can't he dream?
I did some online reseach. Dogs do dream. Scientists have carried out investigations via an electroencephalogram (EEG). When dogs are in deep sleep, like human beings, their brain activity increases, breathing becomes irregular and they have rapid eye movements (i.e. they are dreaming). I wonder what Titus dreams about. He always seem to have nightmares or rather I only notice him having nightmares. Poor dog. He must be dreaming of lightning and thunderstorms.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006


I am officially done with all reports, assignments, projects, etc! Now, it's time for some serious action (e.g. eat dinner).

Monday, November 13, 2006


I had an interview for an internship with a food marketing company this afternoon. It was ok I guess.
In the evening, I went for a bbq. It's the neatest, cleanest bbq ever. Fun. I was too exhausted to do any work after finishing my LSM2201 lab report anyway. I gotta study even harder really soon, starting from tomorrow morning. Goodnight world. See you in the sunlight bathing days in December.

Sunday, November 12, 2006


Yes, dinners. Some of us (Clara, Feli, Sandra, Tan Yan and Jasmin) from Cedar 4/O met up this evening at Vivocity. It's my first time there and it was so crowded and HUGE. We ate at Spizza at Harbourfront Centre followed by BakerzInn. Sandra and I ate main courses at both places so we had dinnerS. It was my first time dining at these 2 places too.
Anyway, in the afternoon, my lab mates and I went back to NUS (yes, on a Sunday) to discuss LSM2201 calculations. It was worth the trip. We finally cleared our doubts and settled the calculations. Now, I just have to write the discussion part, include appendix, figures and tables, do the evaluation forms and a whole lot of formatting. Wow. That's a handful.
19 more days to the holidays.

Saturday, November 11, 2006


Jaime does not know how to calculate the values for a purification table for LSM2201 mini project (which is worth 3 modular credits). Jaime is stressed. Jaime needs rest.

Friday, November 10, 2006


The insomniac of the day (or should I say, the night) is me. I woke up more than 5 times from the span of 1am to 7am last night. That's almost once every hour.
My entire night was filled with dreams. Dreams that led back to reality. The scene in my dream would suddenly change to my room or some other part of my house and I would wake up. In one particular dream, the scene was changed to my bedroom and my friend was in it. I had to turn over to talk to her and when I did (in my dream) I saw her. In the midst of turning over, while I was about to talk to her, I woke up. I was in the process of turning over and I was looking in the direction of where she was to be. That's like a merge between my dream and reality. The other dreams were like that as well. These dreams were so eerie.
I was a bit fed up as I was tired but just couldn't sleep well. It's the second case of insomnia this semester (and the third for this year).

Thursday, November 09, 2006


My LSM2101 test is finally over! I just have to study the entire thing one more time for the exams! Stressful paper. Stressful day. Relaxing evening with bex. I was almost in a holiday mood tonight.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006


We had LSM2201 test today. This module is non-examinable so I don't have to memorise any of it anymore!
After the test, Leilani and Serene came over to my place and we formed a study group for LSM2101. There's so much to study that I had to break my no-studying-after-10 policy.

Tuesday, November 07, 2006


My father and I had a phone interview today. We helped QL out with her report (Sociology of Family). Interesting to think about stuff I noticed but never really gave any thought to. It was as if I was a bystander of my own life all these years and suddenly I realized I was always part of the show.
Another thought:
I can make things happen. I will make things happen. I won't let it slide like all the others. Remember.

Monday, November 06, 2006


Well, actually this was made yesterday. Anyway, this is canned pineapple with melted cheese. A variation of cheese fondue! It's yummylicious.

Sunday, November 05, 2006


People often take aspirin for headaches. Let's see how it works!
Prostaglandins (eicosanoids) trigger fever/headache. They are synthesized from arachinodate which is derived from cell membrane phospholipids. These eicosanoids may be synthesized in every cell of the body (except red blood cells).
Asprin inhibits the action of cycloxygenase. Cycloxygenase is required for the synthesis of prostaglandins from arachidonate. Hence, with this inhibition, a fever/headache will not be triggered.
However, aspirin may have a side effect on the gastrointestinal tract (e.g. stomach ache). "Buffered" aspirin may be used instead as it is of reduced acidity. For people who need to take aspirin on a daily basis, "enteric" aspirin may be used. Such aspirin tablets are specially coated such that they pass through the stomach without dissolving but starts working in a basic environment (small intestine). Since it only starts working on reaching the small intestine, a few hours has to pass before it can take effect.
I have a headache. I should sleep.

Saturday, November 04, 2006


Neuropeptide Y (NPY) plays a physiological role. This neurotransmitter may well explain my lifestyle. Let's take a look.
NPY is present in the mammalian brain. It plays a role in the regulation of feeding by increasing appetite and is associated with memory and learning. High NPY levels is associated with high food intake and decreased physical activity.
NPY is part of the "lipostat" system which comprises of NPY, leptin and corticotropin-releasing hormone (CRH). Leptin stimulates arcuate nucleus activity. Such activity
  • inhibits NPY production and therefore reduces feeding behavour,
  • stimulates the release of CRH which further decreases feeding behaviour and increases energy expenditure.

I have mixed feelings for NPY. On one hand, it induces my large appetite (and hence gets me fat/flabby). On the other hand, it plays a role in memory and learning which is essential in my academic life, career, etc.

My family is coming later in the evening and we'd probably have dinner together. I guess my NPY levels are going to rise.

Friday, November 03, 2006


In the late afternoon, I went to the gym with pQ to excercise. After that, I met yQ and Bex to cut hair!

Thursday, November 02, 2006


I took public transport home from NUS! It's been a long time since I used such a mode of transport. I took 95 >>> MRT to Woodlands >>> 168. It took me about 1.5h! Driving gets me home in 1/3 of the time!
Anyway, here's my lunch appetizer which is butter rolls toasted with margarine, paprika, garlic salt and dried parsley:

Now preparing noodles for the main course! Going to do some work followed by sleeping. I went for dinner at Fernvale Point. Just as I was cutting up my chicken chop, someone called my name. I was a little surprised. It was Agnes, my sister-in-law. I joined them (Julius, Agnes and Horatius) for dinner and even got a free drink!

Do I sound a bit too free during the peak of the semester?

Wednesday, November 01, 2006


Pre-Year End 2006 Summary Report

From the chart, we can expect a linear increase in sanity as the examinations approach. At the start of the holidays (i.e. the last day of the examinations), 30 days from now, we can expect an exponential increase in sanity (measured in terms of peace units).
Whilst the linear increase in sanity (no pun intended) may appear to be an anomaly. It actually is not. This is due to the following reasons:
  • Most projects are done
  • Most lab reports are done
  • There are less school days
  • Sanity units rise in anticipation of the holidays

Action(s) to be taken:

  1. Study harder
  2. Slack softer
  3. Eat more fruits
  4. Excercise
  5. Rest well
  6. Practise hermitting in moderation

--End of Report--