Confused - Part 1

Is it an acknowledgement of the reality that there are always people better than me or is it a sign of resignation? I tried, but did I try hard enough? Someone once asked, are you gonna try your best or are you gonna do your best? Then again, when you have done your best, how do you know it's your best? And if your best was only so much, could you accept it? Are you supposed to accept it or strive to be better? Strive to be the first or nothing. Whose way is that? God's way or man's? If your best ranked you the last among men, should you be satisfied? Why is there this longing and desire to aim higher? To achieve greater heights? Are we striving for what is right? I am confused. What then does determination really mean? Does it mean that you are constantly unsatisfied with your current standing? Or does it mean that you have not reached your maximum potential? That brings us back to the question once again, what is your maximum potential?

How do we live in the present? How in today's society, do we fufill our resposibilities and live in the present? We always plan ahead. What do I plan to do to meet the deadline? What if we never lived to see that deadline? Would you regret spending time to try to meet that deadline instead of showing love to your neighbours? A saint was posed a question during a game of billiards. "If you were told you had 15min left to live, what would you do?" He replied, "I would continue playing billiards." How many of us can honestly give that same reply? How many of us can live in the present, constantly in anticipation? I am guilty of this and I know I will not break this cycle of tasks of planning for the near future, not the future that lasts an eternity. I am afraid. I am the biggest fool.