He - Part 7

He feels tired. Tired in every sense of the word. Physically, mentally, emotionally. There’s so much he wants to say but he can’t seem to speak the words. Sometimes there’s too much to conceal. Sometimes it’s not right to spill. Sometimes he feels so alone. Sometimes he is so illogical.

By day, he’s the fella he wants to be. By night, he can only hope to fall asleep. He dreams a similar dream every night. Amplifying his thoughts and creating an alternate reality. Bittersweet. Everything is bittersweet, never just sweet. There’s always two sides of the coin. Too few come that don’t go. He always wonders who’ll be there for an eternity and who’ll be just be vessels passing by. Volatile. He wants stability yet realizes that is but a dream. We’re all in transit. All this talk about dynamism but what if some things never change? What if some things can never be changed? What if it could change but at the expense of others? Would it be worth it? Would it even be worth a try?

He can’t control his actions. He does the exact opposite of what he wants to do. He could only live out his desired behaviour in his dreams. That’s when he feels alive. That’s when he wishes he’ll never wake up. The harder he wishes, the sooner he snaps back to reality. How is a good dream good when it cannot be transformed into reality? How is a nightmare bad when it doesn’t happen in real life? A good dream only reminded him of what could not be satiated and a nightmare made him appreciate his life, indicating that life could be worse. His life is good… or is it?